La Bestia (Approved) (Free Resurrection)

Posts : 17 Points : 0 Join date : 2010-03-10

i've gave up... ,if you want you can freely use my ress as yours, copying it and doing whatever with it i don't really care much about it, make a good use of it. Cya

Name - La Bestia

Release Phrase - 'Le sangre'

Represents - The Beast Aspect of Death - Despair

Family - Blood

Sealed Description

Spoiler:

Kalis is a type of double-edged sword, often with a "wavy" section, been used for both cutting and thrusting. The wavy portion of the kalis is meant to facilitate easier slashing in battle - since a straight edge tends to get stuck in the opponent's bones, the wavy portion allows the kalis' bearer to more easily pull the weapon out of his opponent's body. It has 26 inches of lenght.

Released Description 2.0

Spoiler:

After releasing it, his mask now covers all his face looking a skull like, his body turns white and root while transforms into a cadaveric beast, making large open wounds appear over his body. Even not been hit he is constantly bleeding, it been like breathing to him not causing any harm, making almost impossible to know if he is seriously injured or not when fighting.

Resurrection Ability/Ultimate Attack
NIEBLA ROJA He exhales a red mist of blood that stays around him. (10 meters diameter) Greatly increasing his speed and blurring the sight of his enemies, causing them to see three enemies at same time, two of them a mirage, while in the mist.
Charge - 2 Duration - 8 Cooldown - 10

Techniques

CERO SANGRIENTO He concentrates a great amount of energy into a great red ball enveloping his closed right hand and them open it, releasing a great red wave explosion of energy around him, that also affect him. (40 meter diameter)
Charge - 0 Cooldown - 4

CICATRIZACIÓN He gains a high speed regeneration, absorving all the dropped blood spilled around him (20 meter diameter), to fastly recover his body parts and wounds.
Charge - 2 Duration - 2 Cooldown - 6

RED FLUJO He controls his blood as he wishes, now easily attacking from distance, fastly stretching long red spears of his fingers to hit the target. (Range 5 meter) Been able to create other weapons as he likes with it.
Charge - 0 Duration - 2 Cooldown - 3

Posts : 227 Points : 74 Join date : 2010-02-15

Is the duration of Cero Mannos fight-long?

Subject: Re: La Bestia (Approved) (Free Resurrection) Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:38 am

First of all...His chest turns into a harp? I personally would have preferred if your resurrection had more animal characteristics (which should be easy since this is water, and a dozen animals can be thought of). Your representation is seabird, but what does the harp have to do with it? The appearance section just seems a bit rushed; I suggest you take a bit of time to make it more complete.

The Ultimate also needs some clarification; how effective is the whole "death by dehydration" thing? Would it kill weaker opponents and weaken stronger ones?

I would also like you to describe your techniques more thoroughly, and also ease up on the grammatical errors. Since this is your application, it should be as easy to read as possible.

Subject: Re: La Bestia (Approved) (Free Resurrection) Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:32 pm

Cadena Profunda makes very little sense. How many water strings would he have to make to have an even slightly useful barrier? Several hundred? A few thousand? If you are going to use that, just make it so that it is a binding move. And you seriously need to change the cooldown. 6 turn duration with 2 turn cooldown??? That would be ridiculously god-mody. You could just use it over and over again. Either make that a much higher cooldown, maybe around six or seven, or bring down the duration a lot.

Estrellas del Sur e Norte also seems a little weird. You summon giant waves, but can only make needles and spears from them. Why not just use them as giant waves? Probably be more damaging.

And of course answer Levi's questions as well.

Posts : 17 Points : 0 Join date : 2010-03-10

alright i'm gonna throw this away, it was really a bad idea... i'm gonna up some other idea

Subject: Re: La Bestia (Approved) (Free Resurrection) Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:22 pm

Much better than before. Charge on Niebla Roja can be decreased to two while you can remove the charge on Red Flujo.

Besides that everything seems fine.

APPROVED

Posts : 17 Points : 0 Join date : 2010-03-10

i've gave up... so if you want you can freely use my ress as yours, copying it and doing whatever you want with it i, don't really care much about it, make a good use of it. Cya

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