Lance My Character DONE

Name:Lance Mascato

Age:18

Years Since Gaining Superhuman Powers:5

Gender:male

Current Location:karakura town

Occupation:none

Rank:regular superhuman

Appearance:avvi

Personality:Young hot headed and cocky are three words that perfectly describe lance.He enjoys fighting.He has a deep passion for it.Sometimes during battle he may go beserk.The main reason he likes fighting so much is after every battle he wins he brags.He hates to lose.Like most teenagers he doesnt like being told what to do.On the other hand he doesn't mind being the voice of authority.He hates hollows and arrancar.He describes them as pest of the spiritual world.He doesn't like quincy either,but over the years he has learned to deal with them.He feels like quincy are know it alls.

Fighting Style:Lance is slow in speed,but his attacks are fast.This means he runs slow,but his slashes,stabs,etc. are fast.He isn't amazingly strong,but he isn't weak either.He has normal 13 year old strenght.His reaction time is amazing.Though lacking speed he has great reaction time.Even though he may not be fast enough to dodge everytime it helps.

Lance tends to fight close range.He usually uses a weapon or his superhuman powers.The reason for that is most of the warriors in the spirit world carry weapons.

Background:Lance was born to the american parents on Lila and Matt Mascoto whom moved to japan a week after lance's birth.\

At age four lance started school.This is where he met his best friend ryu.Lance didn't know at first,but they were just alike.The two boys often played together.Other kids played with them at first also.

At age ten lance and ryu had grown a strong bond.At school the kids would laugh and make fun calling the two of them gay.It didn't seem to bother ryu,but it enraged lance.He knew the two of them weren't gay.One day lance went to ryu's home.Ryu told him he had a secret,but couldn't tell anyone.Lance promised not to.Suddenly ryu morphed into a man who looked around the age of twenty.At first lance tried to run,but his parents entered the home to comfort him.Once comforted lance's parents told him ryu was a superhuman and he would be going to stay with ryu for a couple of years.Lance understood and left with ryu.Ryu and lance went to a mansion where he and ryu would soon train.
(thats the superhuman draft)

At age twelve lance had been staying at the mansion.While there he had gained his powers and had went on many missions to defeat hollows.Lance's power was his hand could turn into a dagger.One day lance and ryu went on a mission together.The leader of the superhuman orginization said it would take two of them to eleminate the foe.The two went together to battle their opponent.Suprisingly it was an arrancar.The two quickly went into battle with the arrancar.They were winning at first,but soon the arrancar went into his released form.Ryu told lance to go get one of the overseers.Lance did so and upon returning saw that neither the hollow or ryu was there.

Lance is currently 18.He battles hollows eleminating them on sight.The job has now become a thorn in his side he commonly says.Along with defeating hollows he battles anyone causing havoc in the city.

(btw ryu's power was shapeshifting)

DONE

Alright, there is one big problem.

I am sure I have mentioned it somewhere else on the site, but the youngest I want a character is 18 years old. Sorry it ain't on the template.

So yeah, that screws up a big chunk of your profile.

While I am pointing out problems though, might as well mention them all.

".Long range is no mystery to lance either.He may pick a rock up and throw it.That's about is for long range."

... That kind of means that long range is a bit of a mystery to him if the extent of his long range is throwing a rock. Unless you meant BOULDER, maybe then it might do some damage to someone. But just throwing a rock against any spiritual entity would do nothing.

Alternate Personality Zero.

*Sigh*

I think you have already been talked to about this by Hideaki and if he wants to put his two cents into the conversation he may as he has more knowledge about it then I do. But I am pretty sure you can't talk to your split personality.

"phsycotrist"

Spell check is your friend.

And your whole profile just ends. Abruptly at that. First off he needs to at some point be drafted into the superhuman organization, I would assume it is by the PSYCHIATRIST. Second what do you mean he works hard to protect his home. Does he just kill a hollow if it happens to cross his path? Does he actively go around his town trying to find them and kill them? You need to give a little more explanation then just that one line.

done again

...

I will give you a second chance with this. It is obviously rushed which makes it difficult to tell what your writing skills are. Also I am disturbed that some 14 year old kid ended up spending six years hanging out with little boys ten years less his age.

Creepy....

Technically there is nothing WRONG about it now. But the grammar is stale, it is a rushed job, there are no spaces after sentences (RAGE), and it is altogether bland.

So I am going to put up this stipulation.

You can go and make your abilities now. But despite your current rank you are trying to get, I am going to require you to make an RP sample. The staff will then decide if the abilities have been approved, whether or not your RP skills are up to the level that this site desires. If they are not, then you will be denied. If they are approved then you will be fine.

So think of it this way, you are going to need to work harder then you have on this. Your first impression was not very strong. If you would like to jump into all the battles, you better put more effort in.

APPROVED

for now.