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| Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) | |
| | Author | Message |
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Hezro
Posts : 47 Points : 19 Join date : 2010-05-16
| Subject: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Sun May 16, 2010 9:52 pm | |
| Name: La Alacrán Silencioso (the silent scorpion) Release Phrase: " hinder, La Alacrán silencioso" Represent: scorpion Family: poison Sealed Description: Released Description: - Spoiler:
Hezro's lower half (waist level) becomes that of a scorpions. He gains 8 legs attached to a segmented base that replaces the lower half of his body. His forearms become half pincer claws with very sharp edges to them. They cover a total of roughly 3 feet and are slightly curved. The back end is completely smooth with a few small spikes that dot along the half-claw that secretes poison if they puncture the skin (will explain in ability section).the tail is 7 feet long while curved in its resting place and has a large 6 inch barb on the stinger .Hezro also gains the black mask shown below. - Spoiler:
Resurrection Ability/Ultimate Attack:Hezro releases a poison upon contact by either the claws, the small spikes on the claws, his tail's stinger,and even by his saliva. The poison is blood based (must be administrated by cut,swallowed or entered through the eyes). The poison causes different effects at different stages, gradually each stage becomes worse than the previous one. to advance in a stage, the opponent must be previously affected by the stage before hand. (ex. first time poisoned= stage one, second time poisoned= stage 2, etc.) the stages cooldown must be over as well before another stage can take place but if the duration of the previous poison isn't over it will not advance to the next stage, in no way to the durations stack themselves Techniques: name:poison stage 1 effect: blurred vision and small to medium muscle craps in infected region. duration:4 posts, 2 post cooldown name:poison stage 2 effect: effects of stage 1 + small amount of vomiting of blood and muscular paralysis of infected area duration:3 posts, 4 post cooldown name: Blinding death effect: Hezro spits poison in the opponents eyes and mouth to cause temporary blindness and very painful burning in the eyes. duration:2 posts, 4 post cooldown
Last edited by Hezro on Thu May 20, 2010 5:34 pm; edited 5 times in total | |
| | | Hezro
Posts : 47 Points : 19 Join date : 2010-05-16
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Mon May 17, 2010 2:46 am | |
| revised and up for review | |
| | | Spinzaku
Posts : 258 Points : 99 Join date : 2010-02-17 Age : 43 Location : Somewhere Eating my Chiken Nuggets
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Mon May 17, 2010 9:33 pm | |
| ......................
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WTF is this?
Okay let me see. it produces an hearing boosting smoke that plays into your mouuh's screaming out. Those effect of course would have that voice increased five times over. Basically scrabbling their brains to pieces.
Then you have a second tech that does the same thing. Maybe you could change the second for into a defensive tech, and add, and ultimate cause basically. Not to be a dick or anything but this Resurrection has no chance of success. it would be to easy to dodge the gas, and even the scream alone wouldn't do much damage.
Take my character for example. He could simply swing his sword, and clear the air around him. Meaning you lose. | |
| | | Hezro
Posts : 47 Points : 19 Join date : 2010-05-16
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Mon May 17, 2010 11:40 pm | |
| i agree on a more ultimate technique or sorts and will add that as soon as possible (meaning whenever i think of one).but i think your missing the point of this res.
the screams won't cause much true damage as far as wounds go but it will hurt like hell, in other words its used as a disorientation method. I mean doesn't the average person (by average i mean those not used to loud noises) immediately cover their eyes at a very loud, unexpected sound? The tech are there simply to point out that I can't "screech" whenever the hell i want to. basically pulse makes them grip there ears and siren brings them to their knees, easy enough to understand I still carry a blade with my during the res, which shouldn't be overlooked as well as the claws on the arm.
As for dodging the gas, with a normal weapon scheme, say zafaron's for example this is a rather effective attack, but with yours it virtually useless. BUT THATS THE POINT. wind elements ARE its weakness. If i created a weapon that had an effective means of infecting everyone then I would be OP myself. BUT even if you fail to be rid of the gas for even one breath, you are affected by if for 3 posts, its all a matter of situation. | |
| | | Madame Rose
Posts : 458 Points : 59 Join date : 2010-02-23
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Tue May 18, 2010 12:19 am | |
| My, you have a way with stealing pictures. This time, you've apparently ripped off Nightmare's arm and left him sitting around with his azure armor, holding on to Soul Edge and cursing you to the cesspool of darkness for taking his lobster claw. On top of that you use an ability with a very weak idea in the first place. Most Shinigami could use Tenran to blow all of the gas away easily, or just blow it up with Shakkaho. That is, if they don't just Shunpo away from it. Even Zafaron, your example, could defeat this gas. His Zanpakuto can spin around rapidly, enough to act like a fan and blow away a light, gaseous ability. I also think the idea of needing three turns is a bit much, two at max in my opinion, since your other techniques pretty much auto-hit if that ability is up. Between most people having a way of disturbing the air/making the gas explode, there isn't anything to hold this together. The few that couldn't do that could likely use their reishi to counteract the poison through healing. Neurotoxins are a fine line for me in any situation, since they're all properly of Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Until major changes are made, this is
Denied | |
| | | Hezro
Posts : 47 Points : 19 Join date : 2010-05-16
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Wed May 19, 2010 4:08 pm | |
| adjusted again. this time more stable. | |
| | | Hezro
Posts : 47 Points : 19 Join date : 2010-05-16
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Thu May 20, 2010 5:35 pm | |
| removed two techs after conversation in CB. everything should now be in order | |
| | | Zafaron Uriuc Admin
Posts : 772 Points : 161 Join date : 2010-02-12 Age : 32 Location : California Dude!
| Subject: Re: Hezro's resurreccion (Approved) Fri May 21, 2010 11:03 pm | |
| I don't see any more issues with the current version so I am just going to slap an
APPROVED
stamp and call it a day.
RP sample now. | |
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