The Ms. Wako Mundo Contest!

"Welcome, one and all, to the miss Wako Mundo Contest! Here with me today are our.... deranged judges, who will be judging all these fine young women... well, not young persay, but you know how it is... Anyway, let's get this motherfucking party star-" He said, before Morgan dressed up in a pirate costume shot him in the back of the head with a flintlock pistol, giggling like a madman as he repeatedly kicked the corpse in the back of the head.

"ARGH, YE DUMB FUCKS, BRING OUT ANOTHER ANNOUNCERS!" Captain Morgan commanded, who began drinking a bottle of... well, Captain Morgan.

Anyway, the judges, Captain Morgan, Simon Cowell, and Norafaz took their seats, and waited for the ladies to start rolling out.

Norafaz clone number 8 looked at the group in front of them worridly. He honestly didn't want to be in the seat he was in. He was only there because the god-emperor was currentlly skying on Saturn's rings.

Or at least that was the excuse that was given.

The more likely reason was that he had found out his wife was also in the competition. And he knew that if she didn't win....

There would be blood.

...and no not the movie.

"well, lets get this started I guess, he said gesturing for the first participant to come forward."

"Our first contestant is the not so lovely Miss Hate-You-Fuck-You!" another announcer continued as an elderly woman came out in a very revealing hot-pink bikini, the kind you see in bad X-rated movies.

"Let's get a word from our judges" he said, as Miss Hate-You-Fuck-You did a turn, smiled and winked at Captain Morgan, only to then blow a finger kiss to Norafaz, and finally stood still, awaiting comments and score from the judges.

Morgan held a gun, placed it in his mouth, and lined the shot up so that it took both the lives of himself and Norafaz. Before their souls... did whatever, Robot Jesus rose up from the crowd and rezzed them, thus allowing the to go on with the competition. Morgan then held up a card with "GTFO" on it.

One of the announcers noticed the next contestant. Or contestants, for that matter. "Now here is some serious competition! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Pereza and Levi, two of the hottest models on the forum!"

Pereza Milagost and Levi Colton came up, wearing nothing but matching speedos and white t-shirts. Without a second of hesitation, they dumped water onto themselves, their shirts soaking up the water and revealing their ripped bodies, huge six-packs, and manly pectorals. Without another word, they walked off the stage.

"Wow... I mean wow, that was just breathtaking. Even though this is the MISS Wako Contest, those two may very well win it all." Without another word, the announcer focused on the judges, waiting for their verdict.

After Pereza and Levi strolled out, Lily walked out from behind the curtains, wearing a tight, yellow bikini. She managed to cover up her Hollow hole with a series of bandages, and had a confident smile from ear to ear... And then, she pretended to drop a pen, and faced the judges... and picked it up, slowly as possible.

"Obvious ploy is obvious." Norafaz muttered to himself as Lily left the stage as the next contestant made their way forward.

"Obvious ploy is fucking amazing." A voice said above him. Norafaz looked up to notice an arrancar floating above him blood dripping out of his nose. He was apparently trying very hard not to tackle the other arrancar. "My vote goes to her."

Norafaz just stared for a minute before looking down at his notes for the points. "Please, there is more to this contest then just picking the prettiest person, there is also the importance of finding out which winner would help ya survive longer."

Meanwhile, a man wearing a long trenchcoat and a hat that covered his face was snapping pictures from his secret hat camera. 'This is going good, I can sell these swimsuit pics at a pretty good penny, especially these Levi ones. Maybe I'll make them into a calendar. Hell, if I catch a good enough snap, I can sell it to the Daily Zaf,' he thought inside of his head as the mini printer in his trenchcoat printed the pictures into his inside coat pocket, His hand still clicking the button he was holding to take pictures.

Lily was happy, until she noticed the Arrancar oogling her. This, she didn't mind as much, but suddenly.. She noticed the man with the camera. She quickly went backstage, grabbed her sword, and lept towards him, and began to stab him in the eyes furiously, screaming "DIE" as she did so.

Sorva's eyes widened as suddenly Lily changed into a demonic figure stabbing into the camera-man's eyes. He quietly moved further away to avoid getting injured as well.

"I think I see what you mean Norafaz." Sorva said quietly.

"It will get worse before the night is over, I can assure you of that." Norafaz said using Morgan's hat to wipe some of the blood off his clothes.

Morgan saw him using his hat, and promptly stabbed Norafaz in the heart.

Meanwhile, after Lily was done stabbing, she threw the katana stabbed, and tossed it backstage. She quickly realized what she'd done, and simply used a towel to wipe the blood off.

Morgan sighed, "I give her a 10... and the two dudes, I give a ten."

Menaldi watched as the guy next to him was stabbed in the eyes to death. "Ouch." Menaldi himself had had the same idea. However, instead of having a camera, he was the camera, recording everything he'd seen since the beginning with his eyes. He had the choice of selling pictures, videos, calendars, or just keeping the memory for his own entertainment. However, that was not the only reason he was there, he was also there to sabotage Zaf's wife in the contest.

"Next up we have........Sir Roga. Weird name but what the hell."

Stepping onto the stage was Ranryou Roga. Dressed in a very business like suit with a par of glasses on. Then the sexy was turned on. Turning towards the crowd, and eyeing Pereza, and Levi with blazing fire in his eyes the wind began to blow. With each gust a piece of clothing was taken. First the glasses, then the coat, then the pants, then the dress shirt reveal a very manly 6 pack very detail from years of hard work, finally if they hadn't noticed, he was wearing a par of white speedos, his preportions making every lady in the crowd faint from seeing to much sexy, even a few dude to ranryou's discomfort.

Turning around and pretending to drop a pen, like some earlier contestant, ranryou bent over to pick it up, eyes the judges with a wink before another gust of wind blew past. This time his body lifting as he floated off the stage. The back of his speedo having crammed into the crack of his ass. Just sexy.

Simon Cowell finally opened the mouth that had punctured many an inflated ego.

"You call THESE people worthy of being contestants in Miss Wako Mundo? I've seen better looking stuff come out a dogs ass!"

It was clear he was jealous of the Norafaz clone, Simon wanted a kiss from Miss Hate-You-Fuck-You.

Haters be hatin', whiners be whinin', and Simon was both, along with a plethora (a word invented only to describe Simon) of other types of fail, only surpassed by Rogas never ending string of grammar and spelling failures.

Menaldi eyes snapped several photos of Roga using his eyes, however, from an outside observer, it would appear he was leering. 'Well, these pictures are going to the Daily Zaf for sure,' he thought to himself as he continued mind snapping the various contestants.

Suddenly Roga was struck down by a flash of lightning obliterating him from the contest. Stepping from behind the curtain next was the wife of the God-Emperor. In one hand she held a an orb that seemed to have been what had released the lightning.

Unlike the others who had tried to wear revealing outfits, she had gone with a beautiful dress for her outfit. She didn't look sexy like the others, but instead just looked beautiful. She smiled to the judges and slightly raised her thin eyebrows at Norafaz.

He took the hint immediately holding up a sign with a giant 10 on it. He had seen what she could do when angry.

In the meanwhile, Popo Razzi was in a phone booth, on the phone with the daily Zaf. "So how much will you pay me for these Roga pics?" Popo asked on the phon. When he heard the response, his eyes shrunk as his nose began to bleed and he passed out. In the meanwhile, Solid Osen just happened to be passing by on his way. "Idiot." As he got to his destination, he pulled out his rocket launcher and aimed at Zaf's Wife, idly keeping his sights on her while thinking, 'Man, rocket launchers make horrible binoculars. I knew I should have brought my sniper rifle.'

Unsatisfied with the view, Osen uttered "Popo," as the crowd split in twain, much like the Red Sea. He leisurely walked through the opening to the front. Once at the front of the crowd, he recognised Norafaz. Well, sort of. "Hey, are you Zaf? Zaf Uriuc? Man, I have a delivery for you." Osen hands Norafaz a grenade. "Straight from leader himself. Oh, it looks like part of it broke of. Here you go." Osen then hands Norafaz the grenade pin and notices Sorva. "Hey, don't I know you?" he asks him.

Morgan simply held up a ten, not wanting to get smited.

Lily glared at the God emperor's wife, obviously a bit jealous. And hell hath no fury when a woman is jealous of another. Infact, Lily was so jealous that she quickly tackled the God Emperor's wife, and Morgan was forced to scream into the microphoone...

"HOLY SHIT, CATFIGHT!"