Bull in a China Shop

Levi sighed. He was yet again resting in his gun shop in San Francisco, simply waiting for customers, or just anyone, to show some interest in the antique guns he sold and come into the store to look around. Levi really liked talking to people, and though he often enjoys just doing nothing in a day, in the store he's actively looking to engage someone in a conversation. Though if they had the gaul to diss his shop, he would kindly show them the door with a respectful boot to the rear end.

So, Levi thought, chomping down on his cigar. Is anyone going to come in before I close shop?

Kurokotsu sighed softly, pulling his illusionary cape closer around himself as he went through San Francisco. "I wish it weren't so damned infested with Hollows around here. I have to go around completely masking my spiritual pressure and looking like I'm a human for them to leave me alone." He grumbled, the bitterness apparent in his voice. Whining more to himself, he walked into an old shop along one side road, finally finding the man he came to see. Once he was securely inside the shop, he took off the cloak and let the illusions fall. "So, you're the super-strong human, eh? What's a skilled, not to mention handsome, man such as yourself doing surrounded by so many antique armaments? Surely you don't use these things, do you?" He asked with a gasp that was more than likely there purely for comedic reasons.

Levi frowned at the person who had entered his shop. Where did he come from? And why is he looking for me? But there was something more important: the man had insulted Levi's guns, and that was something Levi would NOT tolerate. "As a matter of fact buddy, I DO use the guns in my shop. These 'antiques,' as you put it, still pack quite a punch. I bet you'd like to try it out for yourself." Levi was hinting more that he wanted to use the man as a shooting target. Whatever the man said next would decide whether they would fight or not.

"Oh, I'd rather try out your other muscles, dear. Namely, those big muscles you have. Could I just deal with those rather than the nasty, rusted armaments you have all around here? I do believe the people here call big, bulging arms 'guns' anyway, and yours are much more interesting to me than the ones on the walls. What do you say, hot stuff?" Kurokotsu asked with a chuckle, licking his lips as he examined Levi. 'Yum...' That was the only thought in his head, but it played over and over, drowning out most of the other thoughts.

"Are you-are you hitting on me?" Not that Levi had anything against that; he just didn't swing that way. He was also weirded out that this guy had just walked into his shop and suddenly started staring at his body. "OK guy, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." To make his point, Levi put his hand on the revolver resting on his gun belt. "Please don't make me draw this."

"So, you like it rough? That's fine by me. But, a gun? Wouldn't a whip fit so much better right now?" He asked, drawing his Zanpakuto and letting it rest against his leg. "However, I think you'll find that I don't do very well when I'm told no, dear. But, if you insist, we'll do things half your way, and half mine. The half of your way is a fight, the half of mine is you being shirtless for it. Sound good, hun?" Kurokotsu said with a laugh.

Levi sighed. Though he usually wasn't a person quick to anger, this guy was being successful at pushing all his buttons. He looked down at the shinigami's sword. "From that zanpakuto, you must be a shinigami. But that doesn't justify your behavior. No one, and I mean NO ONE, insults my store." Levi stood up. "If you want to fight, that's fine by me. But not here. Somewhere else."

"I'll follow you anywhere, sweetie, so long as you'll take some clothes off. Either that, or I'll just burn them off. I need some eye candy in the worst way, and you're the hottest thing since Sotaicho scalded me for directly going against his orders. Between fight and something more...fun, I choose the latter. Oh, I wish you would too. babydoll." Kurokotsu said with a smile, swaying his hips and getting ready to follow the hunk of beef.

"Show some impulse control, at least." Levi stepped out of the store. "There's a nice hill on the outskirts of the city. We can fight there. As for the clothes thing... we'll see what happens in the fight." Levi had no intention of making things easy for the strange shinigami. If he wanted to play his little game, he was going to have to work for it. With that, Levi ran off towards the distant hill, making sure that the shinigami was behind him.

Kurokotsu nodded, taking a deep breath and using Shunpo to reach the hill just slightly before he expected Levi to. "Shall I explain what my Zanpakuto does, Mister Sexpot? I wouldn't want you to be caught too unaware, then the fun might end too soon. I intend to see your muscles glistening and rippling as you dodge my attacks, like the finest work of art on this ball of dust." He said softly, twirling his Zanpakuto around.

Levi stood on the edge of the hill, trying to block out the shinigami's words. This spot had a great view of the Bay area, and with the sun beginning to set, the Golden Gate Bridge was glowing brilliantly. It really is a nice city, Levi thought to himself, before he remembered the shinigami. He turned around and sighed. "Let's get this over with," he said, putting his hand on his revolver. For a second, neither of them moved. Then without warning, Levi's arm turned into a blur as he hoisted his revolver out of his holster and shot a single shot at the shinigami, all under one second.

Kurokotsu quickly blocked the bullet with his Zanpakuto, sending it to the side with the flat edge. "Unfurl your wings, heavenly being. Twist their ambitions, demonic host. Hekikaisou!" He called out, swinging the blade behind himself as it grew, changing into a broadsword. "Now, show me what you've really got. I promise, I won't hurt you too badly, I really wish to see you in a more revealing light, after all."

Levi sighed, which was something he was doing quite often with this guy around. Hell, I probably shouldn't fool around, especially if this guy can block a freaking bullet with his sword. Maybe my transformation will cause him to hesitate. Or the site of my chest. Either one. Levi unbuttoned his shirt and lay it on the ground. "All right shinigami. You asked for it." In a matter of moments, Levi unleashed a huge amount of reiatsu that flattened the trees around him. As he straightened his back, his shoulders aching from the strain of his bone shoulders, he glanced at the shinigami. Without another word, he shot a barrage of bala-level energy blasts at him.

"Yum...Sexy, aren't you?" Kurokotsu asked, dodging most of the blasts and only getting hit by one. However, he shrugged it off and dusted off the bottom of his haori where it hit. "Nice technique, I think I'll borrow it." He said with a smirk, holding out his left hand in front of himself. "Hado number thirty-one, Shakkaho." He said simply, setting the orb of fire out. Then, he swung his Zanpakuto straight through and cleaved it in half. Then by quickly reversing the direction of his swing, Kurokotsu sent out a flurry of bala-like techniques. As he ended the technique, he began to speak. "The power of my Zanpakuto is reflection. I can copy techniques I see done and put my own spin on them. Got it, sexpot?"

Levi shot almost all the blasts down, except for one that sizzled past his head, burning the edge of his hat. He looked up, frowning. "Not too much damage, but still..." Levi glared at Kurokotsu. With a flash, he dashed towards the shinigami, getting close enough to use his Shotgun technique. At that close a range, the shinigami would be torn to shreds if he didn't dodge.

Sensing danger, Kurokotsu crouched down onto the ground and held his Zanpakuto between himself and Levi, forming a shield. Once the danger passed, though, he immediately swung upwards with a few curses launched. "Be careful there, you're only supposed to shoot holes in my emotionally and sexually, not physically..." He said with a laugh.

Personally, Levi did not believe that he could have really hurt the shinigami with his shotgun blasts. However, Levi was banking on the fact that the shinigami did not know about his technique's other ability. He jumped back until he was more than 30 feet away. "You do notice that those energy blasts haven't disappeared. You know why?" As he said that, the blasts brightened before exploding.

Hissing, Kurokotsu felt the explosions at his back. "That's rather mean, you know..." Sighing, Kurokotsu condensed his reiatsu and fired an attack very much like Levi's shotgun clusterfuck. However, instead of them exploding at the end, they would push Levi closer to him, as he used Shunpo to appear about ten feet in front of Levi. The blasts would hopefully bring Levi right into where his Zanpakuto was positioned.

Huh, I thought that would hurt him more. Levi barely had time to respond before the shinigami fired his own version of Levi's technique, shooting blasts behind him and exploding. Levi was forced toward the shinigami, who appeared mere feet in front of him, his zanpakuto before him. "Sorry buster. Not going to be that easy!" Levi angled his cannons downward and shot a low-powered energy blast, just enough to propel him off the ground and over the shinigami's head. He landed facing away from the shinigami, and only used a split second to have his cannons rotate to his back and fire at the shinigami's exposed back.

Kurokotsu got down on all fours to dodge the blast, and swung his Zanpakuto backwards in an arc, aiming to cut Levi in half, or so it seemed. As he did that, Kurokotsu began releasing his reiatsu, letting it fan out from his body, preparing for Bankai. "Is that all you've got? You're having a bit of a hard time, just with my Shikai reflections. They get so much more dangerous in Bankai, sugah." He said with a smirk, just as the blade finished its arc.

Levi's sharp reflexes saved him from being split in two, though he did suffer a deep cut in his left bicep. He picked up his shirt and tied it to his arm as a tourniquet, preventing too much bleeding. This zanpakuto is a trouble-maker. Levi was hesitant on showing any more techniques because of the shinigami's copying capabilities.

Levi shot with his cannons at the ground right in front of the shinigami, creating a cloud of dirt that flew into his face. Levi dashed to the shinigami's non-sword arm and used his quick draw, charging up his revolver and shooting two charged-up bullets at the shinigami's head.

Holding his Zanpakuto in front of him as a shield, Kurokotsu released his reiatsu. "Bankai! Fuhen Hekikaisou!" He exclaimed, the large, solid black shield blocking the bullets. Then, Kurokotsu opened up his mouth and fired two bullets of pure reiatsu at Levi. While he hoped the other man would be distracted, Kurokotsu twisted around and aimed his shield at Levi's legs.

Levi flinched a little as the Kurokotsu released his bankai. I'll never get used to how much energy a captain can release at once. However, he didn't have much time to think before the captain shot reiatsu blasts out of his...mouth? Is he a hollow or something? How'd he do that? Levi was able to shoot these bullets down, but the captain's shield swung at his legs and knocked them out from under him. Damn it! But as Levi went down, he grabbed the captain's haori, and his cannons brightened before he used his shotgun technique. "Let's see you dodge THIS, partner!"

Kurokotsu quickly twisted, freeing himself from the Haori. As the bullets came out, Kurokotsu snapped off a chunk of his Bankai and swung the reiatsu-infused weapon at Levi's shoulders, slowly at first. "Let me guess. Your powers all come from those cannons on your shoulders, right? By that logic, if I attack your shoulders enough, they won't be able to withstand the force of these techniques. Would that be an accurate guess?" Kurokotsu asked, spinning his body in the opposite direction to strike Levi's right shoulder with his shield, the blade finally coming around toward his left.

"Those aren't my only weapons, shinigami!" Levi aimed his revolver at the incoming shield and released an energy-covered bullet, deflecting the shield enough for him to dodge right away. He made sure to keep close to Kurokotsu, pointing the barrel of his gun right under the captain's chin and firing.