Erika's Zanpakuto (Approved)

A foreword:

- The japanese was not done by myself, but by a friend. As such, I can't be certain if the translations are correct. In addition, I don't remember the exact translation for the zanpakuto's name, nor its bankai name. However, that does not matter as much.

- As always, if there are issues, edits are easy to come by. Hopefully though, the times and such of the techniques will be fine. I tried to balance them as best I could, but I don't quite know the power scale on this site yet.

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Name: Kyoufuu

Zanpakuto Spirit Appearance: Kyoufuu takes the form of a small falcon, build for speed.

Shown here, in Erika’s inner world:

Spoiler:

Zanpakuto Spirit Personality: Kyoufuu is the wise old man who seems to have advice whenever needed. At least, this is how Erika tends to view him. Kyoufuu is always calm, and devoted to the task at hand. Over her years as a Captain, and later, her time as a mother, Kyoufuu has been an invaluable source of knowledge and encouragement.

Release Phrase: Toppuu, Kyoufuu! (Gust, Kyoufuu!)

Family: Wind, and part Lightning in bankai.

Level: Bankai

Sealed Zanpakuto:

Spoiler:

Shikai: Shown in the following pic, however the red tassel is a dark blue color instead. It is just over six feet long in total length, making it a bit taller than Erika herself.

Spoiler:

Shikai Ability: Kyoufuu only has a single passive ability in shikai, though it has many uses. It has the ability to manipulate the air around it and its wielder in order to do a multitude of things. Kyoufuu can use this ability to speed up Erika’s movements, to make her movements more precise through subtle adjustment, and even to subtly affect her opponent’s attacks if they draw near, making it easier for Erika to block or dodge where possible. This is all done without Erika’s conscious activation, though she is aware of it. She and Kyoufuu have learned to act in perfect synchronization, so Kyoufuu is able to tell when and to what degree to aid her.

Bankai: Erika’s transformation – or more specifically, her and Kyoufuu’s transformation – involves her being enveloped in a green glow of reiatsu, shielding her from view. After a moment, when it is complete, the green glow fades, revealing her to be wrapped in a set of wings, reminiscent of those Kyoufuu’s spiritual form possesses. This is the first major change from shikai to bankai – Erika gains a set of wings, with a wingspan of about twelve feet when completely stretched out. The second major change is the guan dao. The blade grows a half a foot longer, with an extra piece of ornamentation forming where blade meets shaft; ornamentation in the form of a falcon’s beak with the blade coming out of it.

Bankai Release Phrase: As both Erika and Kyoufuu are a fan of simplicity, Erika simply needs to state the word Bankai to activate the transformation, along with its name afterwords: Hakaitekina Kyoufuu.

Bankai Ability: First of all, Hakaitekina Kyoufuu has the same passive ability that Kyoufuu had in shikai, only this time it is much more potent. It can increase Erika’s speed and agility an amount that is easily noticeable by the enemy, whereas before, it was much more subtle. The second passive ability is the wings themselves. They give Erika a number of abilities – for one, they allow her to fly at great speeds. In addition, she can use them to block attacks, as they are quite tough. Lastly, she can also use them to give herself quick bursts of speed.


Techniques:

Jietto Kiryuu (Jet Stream) – This is a technique that can be used in both shikai and bankai. Jietto Kiryuu is a technique that Erika can activate instantaneously, and it is used in conjunction with a swing of her zanpakuto. What it does is cause an intense blast of air in combination with her attack, much like a sudden, powerful blast of wind in the direction of her swing. Its main purpose is to disturb the opponent’s stance and synergy, but it can also be used to defend against attacks, particularly ranged attacks.

In shikai, Jietto Kiryuu is strong enough to knock most opponents off balance. Lighter, or weaker opponents can even be launched into the air. It can be activated instantaneously, and requires a one turn cooldown.
In bankai, the technique differs slightly from its form in shikai. It can be activated in the same manner with a swing of the guan dao, but it can also be activated with a wave of her wing (only one is required; using both wings would launch two at once). In addition, the technique itself is much more powerful, capable of launching even the strongest or heaviest opponents into the air. In bankai, it can be activated instantaneously, and requires a two turn cooldown after the second use.

Limitations:
Shikai: Instant activation, 1 turn cooldown
Bankai: Instant activation, 2 uses before a 2 turn cooldown

Joushoukiryuu (Updraft) – Joushoukiryuu is a technique that can only be used in bankai. It causes an intense updraft in the area within a 75 meter radius of where Erika first used the technique (150 meter diameter area). This updraft is strong enough to lift any opponent into the air, and keep them there – thus bringing them into Kyoufuu’s domain. Due to being granted wings in bankai, Erika has no problem fighting within the updraft. This ability is activated with bankai, and lasts for four turns. Once it fades away, it can be re-activated, however it requires a three turn cooldown, as well as two turns to charge. It should be noted that this ability is most effective in Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, where flight is not normally possible by a shinigami. In the Human World, its intended effect is diminished slightly – however it is still a large distraction during a fight, and it provides Erika with much more freedom to move with her bankai.

Limitations: Instant activation with bankai. Lasts 4 turns. 3 turn cooldown, with 2 turns to charge for use again afterwords.

Juuden Shinasai (Electrify) – This final technique can only be used in bankai. This is where Kyoufuu’s subtype of Lightning comes into play. It is also a very versatile ability, capable of being used in conjunction with the previous two. Juuden Shinasai creates a small, almost imperceptible vortex of air around the guan dao itself. It builds up a charge within the blade, effectively electrifying it via static electricity. This gives every swing of her blade an electric charge, which can harm an opponent even if they block the attack. Once activated, Juuden Shinasai is a constant effect. However, it also has a constant drain on Erika’s spiritual power. It also does not last forever – after six turns, the charge fades away.

Limitations: 1 turn charge, 6 turns duration. 3 turn cooldown.



Edit: Fixed a contradiction with Juuden Shinasai.
Edit 2: Added summarized limitations.
Edit 3: Adjusting cooldowns and limitations.
Edit 4: New techniques to replace old ones.

It looks good to me, nothing seems too OP - the descriptions are good, you have already given decent limits to your techniques.

I, for one, feel this deserves to be APPROVED. But I think Roga should have a say in this, since the Zanpakuto seem alike.

Well, he's had his say, and he wishes it to be changed - guess that takes care of that. Make some changes and it'll be looked over, though I think it'd be best if you talk about the changes with Roga as well, just to make sure he doesn't find them too similar again.

Well now. I was looking forward to your zanpakuto, and how you would make it. I'm impressed cause you took an idea i was waiting on, and brought it up. As in the Lighting part. However. I must say this is nothing but a carbon Copy of Mizuchi. Only that you took my ideas, and made Expanded them.


Let's Compare:

Within this form Ranryou can fire blasts of jet stream winds at his enemy with the cutting ability of a blade.


Kaze no Ha (Wind Blade) – This technique can be used in both shikai as well as bankai. With a swing of the guan dao, Erika can launch a compressed blast of air. It is compressed to the point it is as thin as the edge of a sword, and as dense as one too. The blades are roughly four feet long, and move as quickly as an arrow. They can be blocked like any sword, and remain solid until robbed of their momentum. In addition, as they are comprised only of air, the blades are incredibly tough to see – tough, but not impossible. In bankai, the blades’ speed is increased, their size is doubled to roughly eight feet, and they have much more power behind them. Kaze no Ha does not take a large amount of power for Erika to use, thus she can launch several of them continually with ease. In shikai, Erika can launch a maximum of five at a time, with the only limit on how fast being how quickly she can swing the guan dao. In bankai, there is no limit to how many she can fire off.

Limitations: No charge time. Can only fire one at a time. After the second, there is a one turn cooldown.

This is something that a Wind user could do on their own, not needing it to be a technique. You blast air like a blade as i did without having to use a tech. It's like you took the idea of my simple release, and formed it into a tech that you can use.


Suzaku Raikan, "Wind Current":

Shikai: Swinging his sword in the given direction Ranryou can create a widening tornado like blast of swirling wind blades. With caught inside the enemy will be spun, and thrashed about with slashing, slicing winds.
Charge: 3 turns Duration: 1 turns Cooldown: 3 turns

Bankai:Using his hands, or legs Ranryou can create a larger scale of tornado's. Six or so. Each one can be directed, and controlled to manipulated by Ranryou. Outside of each tornado are also several large sickle shaped transparent blades. If Ranryou was able to tarp someone between two of them they wouldn't be captured but ripped to shreds by the outside blades. The outside blades each extend about 6 feet at max. One could use there sword to black the tornado's but would suffer small cuts, and slashes. Nothing deadly.
Charge 2 turns Duration: 3 turns Cooldown: 3 turns


Ha no Arashi (Blade Storm) – This second technique is much more powerful than Kaze no Ha, and as a result, Erika cannot launch them continuously. Like Kaze no Ha, it can be used in both shikai as well as bankai. Ha no Arashi involves Erika spinning the guan dao above her head, causing a twister to form with a diameter of about eight feet. Its height is roughly thirty feet or so, depending on the weather. Once the twister is formed (forming only takes a few seconds), Erika can send it off in the direction of her opponent. The twisters move quickly, but nowhere near as fast as the wind blades. In addition, the twister itself is much more than just a spinning column of air. Interlaced within the twister are countless smaller wind blades. Should an opponent get caught in the center of the twister, they would find themselves assaulted on all sides by smaller versions of the Kaze no Ha.

In bankai, the twister’s size is increased to almost fifteen feet in diameter, with its height being as high as the cloud ceiling, regardless of how high that is. In addition, in bankai, Ka no Arashi has a noticeable vortex of wind, capable of sucking in an opponent who gets too close. As a final note, Erika can enter these without danger to herself, as Kyoufuu can manipulate the wind blades within so that they do not harm her.

In shikai, the twister remains on the battlefield, moving in the direction she originally sent it for a total of four turns, or less as Erika can have it fade away before that. In bankai, it can remain around for up to seven turns, with the same option of fading it away as in shikai. For both shikai and bankai, Erika can only launch one at a time, and must wait at least one turn before launching another.


I must say with Wind style zanpakuto it's best to seperate the shikai, and bankai effects so it's more clear. Also.


THIS IS A VERY OVERPOWERED ZANPAKUTO.

Not only because it takes you a FEW SECONDS to make the tiwster but in bankai it lasts for seven turns, and then you can fire more while one is still going. It's like being able to spam the hell out of one technique over the coruse of the whole fight.

The Lightning part is also overpowered. Being able to use Electricty, with your tech with how long they last. That's way to much. I know this because I two was thinking of that same combo yet decided against it.


DENIED

Please seperate the shikai, and bankai effects. Change the cooldown, and durations drastically. Mainly for Arashi. With Lightning part has to go. It can;t stay unless you can think of something else. Arashi needs to have a charge of AT LEAST THREE POSTS. A DuRATION OF 2 POSTS, and a COOLDOWN of 4 turns.

To be able to charge for one post, and rapefest isn't going down. This is by far the second most overpowered Zanpakuto on the site. It's just.

Too much.

DENIED till changes are made.

I'd like to make a few things clear before I go make any changes. First of all, its mere coincidence that they ended up the same - I wasn't even aware of you zanpakuto until after I had made this one. So, I did not copy yours, its just chance.

As for Ha no Arashi, it was changed to take a turn to charge for one. Second, she can not have more than one out at a time - that's what it means when it says she can only launch one at a time.

For that matter, all the changes that were made were said to be all right by both Kuro and Zaf (the former was the one who basically called the changes), so I'm surprised you call it that overpowered. It might be just me, but it almost seems like you only skimmed over the whole thing, rather than reading the details.

That said, I'll get to work on some changes.

All right, edited in the new abilities to the above post. Took out Kaze no Ha and Ha no Arashi. Juuden Shinasai remains, though it isn't as powerful as it cannot be used in conjunction with the other two abilities for a combined effect. It can be used at the same time, but it is the only move that directly damaging.

In addition, I'm pretty sure this would make it fairly different from our zanpakuto, Roga, as it makes Kyoufuu's main focus to throw the enemy off - more so in bankai, as it brings them into her own 'realm'.

Thank you for your changes, and having an open mind. APPROVED

Let me add that I read through it many times. because you can fire only one a time doesn;t mean after a short time frame laster you wouldn't be able to fire another. I'm just saying, but all around a nice job. i hope i didn't come off a bit harsh but I only want to see creavtivity, and to see this forum grow with many different elements coming into one to form a great storyline.