Bleach: Awakening of the Elder Ones
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Bleach: Awakening of the Elder Ones

A Bleach RP based in an alternate universe. Years of struggle and strife are common on this planet. But this chaos is slowly catching the attention of those that should have remained asleep.
 
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 Sendo's rp sample (Approved)

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Sendo Todomeru




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PostSubject: Sendo's rp sample (Approved)   Sendo's rp sample (Approved) Icon_minitimeWed Jul 21, 2010 4:07 pm

Sendo was taking a routine walk through the city, as of habit. It helped clear his mind and always gave him some handy experimentation ideas. Today he was in a good mood, though it wasn't be apparent on his face. It was times like this that he would want walk through the forest. As he looked around from side to side, he couldn't help but feel an unsettling feeling. Normally, he wasn't so paranoid, but today, something felt off balance. He decided to take a quick look. He jumped on top of a building and looked around. Not yet satisfied, he started jumping to several other buildings before calming down. He decided that a walk in the forest might do him some good considering how jumpy he has been as of late. As he shumpo'd closer and closer to the forest, he faintly began to feel a trace of reiatsu. He then looked around before descending into the forest. As he went farther and farther into the forest he eventually comes across a campsite, four young boys in scout outfits, and a completely charred bonfire, though no embers. " These humans and their ridiculous outfits. Though something is wrong here. A bonfire wouldn't leave marks like this. Especially this far from the pit. And why are these kids still sleeping, the sun should've woken them up by now. Also--" just as Sendo is collecting more thoughts, a huge hollow jumps onto him. "Ugh" Sendo grunted. ' What the... a hollow! Why... wait, it all makes sense now. If only I had got here sooner, I might have saved them. No matter. I will still kill this hollow. It is my duty as vizard.' Sendo then pushed his arms forcefully into the air to knock the hollow off of him. " If its a fight you want," Sendo said as he swiped his mask diagonally across his face, summoning his Hollow mask, and then unsheathing his zanpakuto. "It's a fight you'll get." The hollow beat its chest as it shrieked a battle cry. The hollow raised his hand in the air, and then swung it down at Sendo. Sendo easily dodged the attack by flash stepping to his right. ' As long as all of his attacks are this simple, I'l end this quickly,' Sendo thought to himself. He then launched himself forward at the hollow only to be swatted backwards. Sendo skidded backwards. " This hollow appears to be faster than i thought it would be; especially for his size. It appears that this one will make a good test subject. Of course, I'll need the right tool for the job." Sendo's grip on his zanpakuto tightened as his reiatsu flared. " Righteous blade, condemn their souls and punish them for their sins, Shimekiri," Sendo uttered as his hilt morphed into a club and his blade becoming a scythe blade on the side. " Let us start by making you a little bit less dangerous." He aimed carefully at the hollows arm, the hollow slowly moving closer. "Jumo." the blade of Shimekiri exploded forward as it cut through through the hollows arm and kept on going until the chain connected to it allowed it to go no farther. The hollow recoiled in pain as the blade cut through its arm. It then swung its other arm down with great force and speed. However Sendo was prepared this time. He easily dodged the oncoming attack and then ran up the hollows arm and off of its shoulder. The hollow had tried to hit him with its hand but wasn't fast enough. When the hollow had turned around, Sendo was no longer there; he had already traveled behind the hollow. Sendo then through several splinters of wood from his zan at the hollow. The hollow was barely able to feel the splinters, though still turned around expecting to see the vizard. However, he had vanished again. Sendo, behind the hollow once again, then jangled the chain a little in order to attract its attention. The hollow turned around with a grunt. Sendo had a chain in each hand. One closer to the club of his zan and the other near the scythe blade. He then pulled on both of these chains in order to tighten the chains he had wrapped around his neck (which is why he kept flash stepping behind him.) The hollow clasped its arm to its neck trying to get the chain that was squeezing tightly around its neck. Sendo then took the liberty to first chop off its other arm and then wrap more of the chain around its feet. He looked down at the hollow, not yet satisfied with his work. "Kido #63: Sajo Sabaku." Sendo extended his hand out as golden chains wrapped aroung his how armless target. He then grabbed the chain between its head and its feet and used it as a strap. "Much better. Now let us get home before shinigami start snooping around this area." Sendo then sped off with his catch, ready to get home, and begin his experimentation.
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Zafaron Uriuc
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Zafaron Uriuc


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PostSubject: Re: Sendo's rp sample (Approved)   Sendo's rp sample (Approved) Icon_minitimeWed Jul 21, 2010 5:32 pm

Sendo....

Make.
Paragraphs.
Please.

Don't do that again, its really distracting.

Also, I am curious why you keep saying it is a club with a scythe blade. That just means its a scythe. You don't need to add all those extra words when there is an actual name. And the "club" would really just be called the handle. I noticed that you called it that in the zan topic so just wanted to make a note of that here.

Besides those two things the sample is decent. A few grammatical errors here and there but nothing deal breaking.

Just PLEASE make paragraphs next time.

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