Bleach: Awakening of the Elder Ones

A Bleach RP based in an alternate universe. Years of struggle and strife are common on this planet. But this chaos is slowly catching the attention of those that should have remained asleep.
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 Soujiro's Captain RP Sample (Approved)

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Posts : 9
Points : 3
Join date : 2010-03-07
Location : Don't look behind you...

PostSubject: Soujiro's Captain RP Sample (Approved)   Sun Mar 07, 2010 6:27 pm

Soujiro sighed as he closed the file numbered "File #1238746583". He lifted himself off of the floor and slotted the file back in it's holder, before he shuffled it back into the shelf where he had found it. He exited the restricted section of the Spirit Libraries with his hands tucked into his shinigami robes, his haori blowing freely behind him. He went out into the bright sunlight and squinted against the glare. He walked leisurely back to his barracks confronting some junior shinigami on his way. He watched as they greeted him and he politely greeted them back, much to their surprise. How history never ceased to amaze him, he marveled at the state of the world and the way it had been before the war. It seems as though the peace we've bought will not last much longer.

He arrived at his door and slid it open only for him to hear padded footsteps running towards his door.
"Taichou! All captains are requested to meet the Captain commander immediately." He was in the middle of taking off his haori when the messenger arrived. He grunted his understanding and immediately disappeared. He arrived in the 1st squad barrack with everything as quiet as ever.

Dammit! I'm the last one again!

He ran towards the large wooden door. He quickly flicked off his sandals and opened the door.


The room was entirely empty. Someone had obviously gone through a lot of trouble to set this up. He snickered,

Tell your captain, he got me this time.

There was a shuffle from outside near the window, then the pitter patter of fleeing footsteps. He turned around and regrouped his scattered sandals, already plotting his revenge. He decided he'd come up with a plan once he got back home. He traveled back to the barracks with lightning speed, Regretting it instantly when he arrived, feeling tired already. He swept the white haori off his shoulders and stretched his arms as he entered his room. He went to the left and sat at a small desk and took out a notebook. He neatly opened it and pulled out a pen.

This peace we hold, as temporary as it may be,
Is being torn from our grasp by thee, loathed enemy.
Whose tainted grasp could lure the angels and all,
Lest we meet in private, we shall not escape a brawl.

He looked at what he had just written. Twenty minute passed by and he could not come up with anything. He tapped his pen incessantly on the desk willing his muse to rectify his writer's block. He put down his pen and reached into a small drawer,

"You really should stop." The familiar voice elicited little to no response from Soujiro. He merely rolled his eyes as his blind hand continued to search through the contents of the drawer, "Are you listening to me?" Soujiro sat back in the chair and looked straight up at the ceiling before brushing his hands through his hair.

You moved it didn't you?

There was a faint giggle,

Listen here Hage! I've told you not to tamper my stuff!

(note: When Soujiro says Hage its a double pub because Hage is short for Hageshiime and also means baldness in japanese. This is an insult because Hageshiime loves her hair)

"Don't call me that! I have hair hoe can you say that."

You need to go away. Why is it that ever since i got you to materialize you bother me about EVERYTHING!

"I'm a reflection of your soul. I am naturally drawn to keep you in good condition."

Then you should be able to cook, clean and present sake.

Soujiro looked over to his Zanapkuto as it rested against the wall.

I'm going to swap you for the replica in the foyer.

Hageshiime was always nagging him about these things, she was more of a pest outside of battle. Soujiro massaged his temples and decided to get up. He changed into his red robe and headed to the door. He slid it open and stood there, leaning against its frame looking out at the cherry blossom tree. As it wept the fragile little petals glided to the ground.

If only this peace could last a little longer.
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Zafaron Uriuc

Posts : 772
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Join date : 2010-02-12
Age : 26
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PostSubject: Re: Soujiro's Captain RP Sample (Approved)   Sun Mar 07, 2010 7:02 pm

Your sentences are a little boring since you write "He [verb] for the majority of them. However, your grammar seems fine and you made your character interesting.

But you also mentioned "before the war" which seriously makes me want to bite you. Grr.

APPROVED as long as you no longer mention the war that never existed.
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Soujiro's Captain RP Sample (Approved)
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