Bleach: Awakening of the Elder Ones
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Bleach: Awakening of the Elder Ones

A Bleach RP based in an alternate universe. Years of struggle and strife are common on this planet. But this chaos is slowly catching the attention of those that should have remained asleep.
 
HomePortalLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Latest topics
» Spam Topic
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeWed Jan 02, 2013 5:26 am by Stauracius Diogenes

» The Winged Fraccion
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Sep 23, 2012 9:12 pm by Sorva Wanon

» Nearly there
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSat Sep 22, 2012 7:47 pm by Zafaron Uriuc

» New Posts
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSat Sep 22, 2012 5:09 pm by Zafaron Uriuc

» Testing Testing 1,2,3
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSat Sep 22, 2012 3:10 pm by Zafaron Uriuc

» Ryouta's RP Sample (Approved)
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeTue Aug 09, 2011 5:38 am by ryuzaraki

» Advertising Rules
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeThu Aug 04, 2011 10:42 pm by Zafaron Uriuc

» Digital hazard
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun May 22, 2011 8:12 pm by Guest

» 5000 posts and the future [PLZ READ]
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeMon May 16, 2011 10:57 pm by Zafaron Uriuc

Top posters
Zafaron Uriuc
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Madame Rose
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Fuuga Natsu
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Fukki Kurayami
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Spinzaku
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Butter Wrestling Warrior
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Stauracius Diogenes
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Tuwa Cheveyo
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Kazuki Kadarame
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Sakura Romanov
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_lcapKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Voting_barKeiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Vote_rcap 
Affiliates


 
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Ftrpg11

   
 
STAFF
WEBMASTER

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] The-go13
Zafaron Uriuc

CO-ADMIN


Stauracius Diogenes

MOD SQUAD


Levi Colton


Kurokotsu Dokueki


Natsu Fuuga

https://i.servimg.com/u/f36/14/86/58/52/th/alecto12.jpg
Ranryou Roga
VOTE!

Free Top Site

 

 Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]

Go down 
+2
Zafaron Uriuc
Taichou
6 posters
AuthorMessage
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeTue Mar 30, 2010 2:28 pm

Name: Miyanoshita, Keiichirou

Age: 259

Visual Age: 26 or 27

Years in Soul Society: 132

Years Since Banishment: 127

Gender: Male

Former Division: 5th

Former Shinigami Rank: Captain

Rank: Low Elite

Appearance:
Spoiler:

Personality:

Keiichirou is an indecisive young man who is easily tempered and can somehow break a wall from just hearing a silly joke. He hates childish acts and often scolds people from acting like a kid. Despite having a very weak side, he has the other serious type of him during battles.

Between battles, his eyes are seen squinted normally and is serious. He tries to think of a plan to get out from the battle instead of holding it on, although this is when the fight is taking either too long or is dragging too much time from him.

If he battles somebody stronger than him. He becomes much more cautious than average and starts to take a challenge seriously. He fights until the fight ends in either the other loses or he loses. To him, draw is basically impossible to be acceptable.


Inner Hollow Personality: He is quite similar to Keiichirou but still has his own differences. He's lazy and laidback unlike Keiichirou and never does his work. The only similarity between him and Keiichirou is that they are both serious in battles and likes to fight somebody stronger than themselves. He is foul-mouthed, heartless with nothing but the instinct to kill, but it still has its mind.

The inner hollow is not obedient at all, but still promises on what he promises to others.

Inner Hollow Appearance:

It is a male inner hollow taking a form of a female even though it's a male. In its female form, it wears a bright white robe with blue outline of the robe. The face is pure white without nothing. It also has slight short black hair curved up to the neck. But in its male form, it looks like a demon with long red hair and has dark green skin.

Fighting Style: Speed

Background:

Spoiler:


Last edited by Taichou on Sun Apr 18, 2010 2:09 pm; edited 4 times in total
Back to top Go down
Zafaron Uriuc
Admin
Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 772
Points : 161
Join date : 2010-02-12
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeTue Mar 30, 2010 3:03 pm

You aren't becoming a Superhuman General at age 11. No way, no how. The Generals are the leaders of their race, they aren't going to accept an 11 year old into their ranks. After all, even if he was a super genius that doesn't mean he has the judgment skills to lead a race.

And since that needs to be changed, I figure you will probably be changing the personality and background as well so I won't comment at this time.

Just for reference, you basically need to be at LEAST 20 to become a general and would need more than 3 years of having your powers.
Back to top Go down
https://bleach-awakening.forummotion.com
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeFri Apr 02, 2010 4:01 pm

I'm sorry for the late reply. I was going to get rid of this character so don't worry, going to change it completely into ... an adult Shinigami! Playing a kid, is often disturbing and annoying. :/

I'll bump it again once I remodel the whole thing. Smile
Back to top Go down
Fukki Kurayami

Fukki Kurayami


Posts : 296
Points : 143
Join date : 2010-03-03
Age : 35
Location : Brazil lol

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeFri Apr 02, 2010 5:26 pm

so i'm not gonna be the only captain killer round here lol
Back to top Go down
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeFri Apr 02, 2010 5:30 pm

Haha, you killed your captain in the history? I technically didn't, but... he almost died. Smile
Back to top Go down
Madame Rose

Madame Rose


Posts : 458
Points : 59
Join date : 2010-02-23

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeFri Apr 02, 2010 8:36 pm

Yeah...no. I could ignore the horrible personality, but the picture hocked straight from Bleach is one nail too many for the hammer to leave unhammered. Every single thing about this character is overkill, in every single possible way. You attained Bankai through a very difficult form of training about twice as fast as the Plot Armor'd Ichigo did, which is just too much, since he was even really too stupid for it. Your whole background is horribly done, and lacks any real originality whatsoever. In addition to this, it is also done with syntax mutilation, and enough bad grammar for a course on Engrish. Every single fiber of my being says to strike down this monstrosity, and so I shall listen. For now, for ever, and for always, you are

DENIED
Back to top Go down
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeFri Apr 02, 2010 10:00 pm

One expression, "-.-".

"Horrible Personality."

That is not called moderating or whatsoever. All you did was giving negative pointers out to me not to mention that you're suppose to help to get it approved by simply adding minor changes, etc.., "Strike down this monstrosity" is also a negative thing. Honestly, the picture was nailed right from it. Then your job is to say, "Get another picture or appearance" or something so that I can change it to make it approvable.

My grammar is at least way better than yours, to be honest. This was done from the Microsoft Word spell checking system which is known to have no mistakes or flaws within it. If you just give negative pointers out only, you won't succeed as a great moderator.

Tenshintai was also made by the whole Research Bureau, not only Urahara(in the storyline). It was created to achieve bankai easily instead of training for decades in the forest. Overkill, right. -.-"
Back to top Go down
Zafaron Uriuc
Admin
Zafaron Uriuc


Posts : 772
Points : 161
Join date : 2010-02-12
Age : 32
Location : California Dude!

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeFri Apr 02, 2010 10:55 pm

First problem comes from the second line. It says flat out in the actual template that you can't have an old character look really young. You should age visually at least a year per every 10-15 years starting with your character looking 20 at age 100. They aren't going to still look that way 400 years later.

Taking pictures from anime is usually fine. Taking a picture of a Bleach character for a Bleach RP that is set in an alternate universe? Not a good choice. The picture should be changed to something non-Bleach related.

Is it actually possible for eyes to be see through from a few meters away? I am confused on how that even works? Can you see through his eye or do they just look pure white from far away? So a weird thing in your appearance.

===

Personality:

Why is he respected by the unseated officers of 2nd division when he is fifth captain. Did you use this profile from another RP and just didn't change all of the statements from it?

"When nobody does their job he suddenly scolds them on the head or either way to actually punish the ones who doesn't work when they're ordered to do so. "

I honestly don't know what to make of this. How do you scold someone on the head or either way? And saying that is an alter ego is overkill. You just say he is disciplined but gets mad when people don't do their job. That isn't an alter ego, that is just the way he works.

"Keiichirou is also quite easygoing on fighting due to the fact that he thinks he can defeat any opponent that stands in his way with any kind of tactics possible."

So he is arrogant and thinks that he could win with any type of fighting. Alright, interesting attribute. Maybe not the best one for a Captain but it could be interesting to see how he reacts to losses.

"His tactics were the ones that are famous from others."

... What does that even mean? Clarification please.

"He respects his captain very much and inspires to once become like the captain. The captain is powerful and can save everybody from everything. "

But he is a Captain. So who are you talking about? If we are talking about the old captain that should be in your backstory, not in your current personality since he IS the captain. And saying the captain (past present future???) can save everybody from everything is overkill regardless who you are talking about. Nobody is infallable and everybody makes mistakes. To not make mistakes would mean no injuries and be godmode.

Captains control divisions, not armies.

"He despises traitors of the Soul Society depending on the occasion of how they betrayed the Soul Society."

Abuse of grammar aside, are you trying to say... I really don't know what you are trying to say here? Elaborate please?

"In either way, he hates them but then has neutral conflict with others and never wants to get along with their problem."

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? You say he hates them regardless and then the part of the statement is that he is neutral to others. Either explain this better or try to word it a way that makes sense please. And I don't even think you can have a neutral conflict. Being neutral means that you don't have an opinion or don't take sides. Conflict basically requires you to take a side. So neutral conflict contradicts itself into oblivion.

Precautious isn't a word. He is just cautious.

Though it is interesting that he will retreat whenever a single person is killed. An unusual trait for sure.

Will go over backstory when I get back from dinner.
Back to top Go down
https://bleach-awakening.forummotion.com
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSat Apr 03, 2010 6:28 am

I will glady change some of the stuff. Although, it might take some time as you might as well review the backstory at the same time.
Back to top Go down
Fukki Kurayami

Fukki Kurayami


Posts : 296
Points : 143
Join date : 2010-03-03
Age : 35
Location : Brazil lol

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 04, 2010 4:46 pm

idk...but you guys took a little too harsh about the appearance\ pic

if that was some really important character of bleach ok... but its almost a no one oh boy
Back to top Go down
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 12:12 pm

This was actually brought from another site. Sorry for the late reply, but i'll be fixin the whole application for now. Keep in touch. Smile
Back to top Go down
Naraga Zenos

Naraga Zenos


Posts : 89
Points : 43
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 36
Location : look behind you... jk, THE U.S. OF FREAKIN A!

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 1:09 pm

also I don't think you can be former captain of 2nd div. the person who is him currently has been there for some time. Just a little pointer.
Back to top Go down
Fukki Kurayami

Fukki Kurayami


Posts : 296
Points : 143
Join date : 2010-03-03
Age : 35
Location : Brazil lol

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 1:32 pm

yep same problem Zenos had before in his app, you can't be the former captain from that division...unless you we're really, really but really old...
but anyway, why everybody wants to be from the 2nd division...


Last edited by Fukki Kurayami on Sun Apr 18, 2010 2:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 2:04 pm

Oh? :O That's quite intriguing... T_T I gotta fix my stuffies Sad
Back to top Go down
Naraga Zenos

Naraga Zenos


Posts : 89
Points : 43
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 36
Location : look behind you... jk, THE U.S. OF FREAKIN A!

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 2:23 pm

I guess it's cause of stealth and all. Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 2:28 pm

2nd division is the best of undercover activities and assasination. They are also the best with shunpo, hand-to-hand combat rather than swordsmanship. Razz
Back to top Go down
Gabriel M.

Gabriel M.


Posts : 68
Points : 57
Join date : 2010-04-07
Age : 35

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 3:39 pm

i'll say it then, well in this RP all the shinigamis are turned into viz by the hands of the great and might VIZARD MAKER.

So you could say that someone inside the kido corps asked if you wouldn't like to use a special new method to train yourself or yourself and your squad or something like that, and that turned you into a vizard.
Anyway u can't turn into a vizard by yourself, sorry dude.
Back to top Go down
Naraga Zenos

Naraga Zenos


Posts : 89
Points : 43
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 36
Location : look behind you... jk, THE U.S. OF FREAKIN A!

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 3:51 pm

yeah I learned the hard way right gabrial
Back to top Go down
Taichou

Taichou


Posts : 14
Points : 0
Join date : 2010-03-30

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeSun Apr 18, 2010 4:10 pm

I didn't do it myself. "Someone striked from behind." He was the "Vizard Maker" xD i could've put into the details but I just didn't want to use another three paragraph which is already-long-bio wasting time for you just to read the additional three paragraphs.
Back to top Go down
Madame Rose

Madame Rose


Posts : 458
Points : 59
Join date : 2010-02-23

Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitimeMon Apr 19, 2010 11:17 am

Vizards aren't my area of expertise, so I'll leave that part to the others. But, I honestly only just read your reply. You insult my way of doing things, and then say that your grammar is better than mine? For that alone, I should strike you dead. Since Zaff-Zaff would get pissy, though, I'll just lock this thread down. Not in the mood to see more talking on this, take it to private messages.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Empty
PostSubject: Re: Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]   Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard] Icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Keiichirou Miyanoshita [Vizard]
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Keiichirou's Zanpakuto
» Keiichirou no Sample desu :)
» BlackStar the Vizard
» The Vizard's Counterattack
» Vizard Template

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Bleach: Awakening of the Elder Ones :: The Records :: Denied/Old Character Applications-
Jump to: